We need a new motto...

They say "Cleanliness is next to Godliness," but right now, I wish the saying so well known was something like, "Modesty is next to sanctity"! A good friend -- a mother of a houseful of boys like myself who doesn't have time to read blogs, let alone write one -- laments that even the homeschool girls wear tight jeans and shorts, and it is driving her teen sons to distraction. "What are the mothers and fathers of those daughters thinking?!"

Indeed! Even though there are books about dressing with dignity, it seems that many a family is oblivious to what their daughters are to the young men they're around: near occasions of sin! Yep, you read that right! Her son was miserable the day after a teen picnic because he'd fallen. His raging hormones and virile body got the better of him. His dad was sympathetic, but had no answers, since one would just about have to give up socializing to avoid girls whose clothing is skin-tight, revealing, and/or provocative.

Now, maybe it's that the moms of teen girls don't realize that boys, too, have raging hormones. Maybe the dads don't want to admit that their daughters look sexy. Or maybe it's that families are getting so much exposure to our culture, that their sensitivity to the issue has been dulled. Perhaps the lack of suitable clothing has them stymied for a solution.

sigh But we can't give up! We can't just tell young men who want to be chaste, "Oh well." Yes, when they are grown men, they likely will have to learn to deal with immodest dress, even if they become priests! But we're talking about guys at a time in their lives when their bodies are in hyper-drive. If you've read any Theology of the Body, you know that patterns are being set in these years, too.

My eldest son has been very blessed: he decided while in college that it'd be neat to be able to say when he was married that he'd only kissed his wife. God gave him that grace! His brothers know this story, and I suspect some of them are hoping for the same grace. So it's not like I have sons who are running with the popular culture. Yet I have heard them, too, mention wishing that girls would not be dressed so immodestly. It is hard enough to keep one's ideals and live virtuously, without having the girls whose company you so enjoy torment you. Even unintentionally.

Read that again: Torment. In a previous life I spent time as a nurse on an adolecent unit. Teen boys are going to respond physically to your daughters if those girls' clothing hugs their new curves and draws the eye below the hipline. Oh, of course, most well-bred Catholic homeschooled boys will hide those responses. Most probably won't even reveal how they feel to their dads as did my friend's son. But don't kid yourself; young men are being stimulated by immodest dress, no matter how much they wish they weren't! No matter how much denial there is on the part of moms and dads, daughters and sons.

Do you really want your daughter to be a near occasion of sin?

The Homeschool Mom Vocation

I often look at how God the Father treats me for guidance in parenting my kids. For example, when I need to refresh my resolve not to nag them, or I'm tempted to belabor some recent failing on their part, I try to recall the story of the Prodigal Son. The father in that story did not harangue his son over blowing his inheritance; the son felt remorse enough without dad heaping on the guilt.

Today after Mass I was reflecting on the Church as the bride of Christ. Christ and His Church are a model for husband and wife. And the Church teaches. Then it hit me: The bride teaches! She is responsible for forming her children, the body. And I, my husband's bride, am responsible for teaching our children. But just as the Church is under the lordship of Jesus Christ, I, too, must teach under my husband's authority, in union with him. He is as important to our homeschool as Christ is to the Church!

I think this is fodder for further reflection.

More Wisdom

Speaking of The Cobbler, I was checking out his other blog, and found this post about why young men need their own retreats. I especially liked reason #7: "Because religion isn't just something we do to keep our moms happy, it's something we do because we know better than to try to be men without it." Wow, pretty cool insight for an 18 year old!