R.E.M. Curriculum Plan

I haven't done any formal research, but I'd bet that most boys who transfer from homeschooling to brick-and-mortar schools do so during or at the end of the junior high years. Why? Because starting at about age 11 or 12, boys in general are not well suited to homeschooling. And many parents assume (erroneously, I might add) that the fault lies with their homeschool. They believe, having just survived the junior high years, that high school can only be worse, and so they give up. In reality, boys this age are simply not easy to educate.

I should know: my fifth son is going into 8th grade. Oh, the Pretzel is a very compliant child. He wants to please, to do as he should school-wise. But he forgets. Repeatedly. Just like he doesn't know his own strength, and so doors tend to be shut with enough force to pop nails out of drywall. And plastic cups are cracked before their drink is drunk. And an indoor voice is... nonexistent.

My second son was in public school -- our town had no Catholic schools -- when I learned from his choir director that when boys' bodies are growing rapidly, as they do in those junior high years, there isn't anything leftover for their brains. All their energy, all their bodily resources, are going into growing taller and stronger and heavier. That's when they quit thinking. Quite literally.

Haven't you ever noticed that junior high boys have the maturity of, say, four year olds? They want what they want when they want it. They act without thinking about the consequences. They feel invincible. They wear you out! And no matter how many times you've told them (something, anything... to do a chore, or do a math problem) something else will capture their attention, and they're off, sometimes just lost in their thoughts and sometimes down the street. That they need to read a book before writing the report on it, or to put away the clean dishes from the dishwasher before adding dirty ones, is a detail that somehow escapes their notice.

It is particularly heart-wrenching with nice boys, the ones who try to obey and want to excel. These boys are truly dismayed when they discover they've broken the vacuum because of standing on it, or gotten smudges on the newly painted walls from flinging slime at them. Who'd have thunk it? "Pretzel, why is the lawn mower in the middle of the back yard?" "Ohhhhhh yeeeaaahhhhh," he says with wonder as he runs outdoors to either put the machine away, or finish the mowing job.

My oldest two sons attended regular schools, so when Thinker, who was homeschooled from the beginning, hit junior high age and I searched in vain for his gray matter that had gone missing, I knew our homeschool was not to blame. It was then that I developed my curriculum plan to address the imbalance that is inherent in middle schoolers or junior high guys: R. E. M.

It stands for Reading, Exercise, and Math. Do you know that you can actually absorb a lot of knowledge just from reading??? Especially if what is being read is engaging and the boy is not distracted knowing that he's going to have to write out answers to questions based on said reading? Besides, at the point when the boy would be writing an essay based on what he read, it is quite likely that his body will choose that very time to grow two inches in height, and although he'll swear to you that he did read the book, he'll not be able to access the material until he's added a half a foot to his height. Some day, when he's 16 or so, your family will be having an animated discussion around the dinner table and your son will relate why the issue at hand is just like one he read about in such-and-such a book a few years ago. Try not to stare, dumb-founded at the re-emergence of his reasoning abilities, but simply smile and say, "Why yes, it is!"

Exercise. House apes, I mean, boys, need lots of opportunity to flex their muscles, to test their physical endurance, to "run off steam." Give it to them. Now is a good time to invest in a trampoline if you haven't already. Plan on a good portion of every school day being spent outdoors; 60-70% is not unrealistic! Let them run with the dog, hourly if needed. Have them shoot some hoops before sitting down to do math.

The one indispensable subject, in my opinion, is math. Whatever math curriculum you're using at whatever level, try to have the junior high student do it daily, or at least 4 days out of 7. Math is sequential, it builds on itself and doesn't lend itself to cramming. There are just too many math facts and skills to learn. That's why there are no Reader's Digest Condensed Math books! Abridged versions would be leaving out something critical.

But you can set aside writing activities until the boy's body is no longer playing the Incredible Hulk with him. If you must do other work with your son, do as much as possible orally. I tell you, he hasn't the resources to think, write, and remember all at once. Writing without the other two usually isn't very useful. In fact, it might actually be detrimental if it reinforces poor spelling and grammar because a certain segment of his brain is on sabbatical. Better to wait until he's rejoined civilized society and can compose and keep a thought and write or type it, too.

Now that you've redesigned your expectations to fit his reality, you will likely find the junior high youth to be much more pleasant in your homeschool. There will be far fewer times that you'll feel the need to look up enrollment dates for the nearest brick-and-mortar school. Because he no longer feels that what you're requiring of him is impossible, he will be much more compliant. You will have freed him to concentrate on math and reading. He'll do better in those because he no longer faces hours of seat work. Instead, he'll exercise his body and in so doing, prepare his brain to learn from what he reads.

There's one more thing the junior high boy needs: to be required to be respectful at all times. He could argue that he'll never need to conjugate verbs in his chosen life's work, but he can't argue that he won't need the habit of a respectful attitude throughout his life. By using R.E.M., you'll have taken the burden off of him, and that should make it easier for him to gain control over his emotions and to handle his raging hormones. He needs you to set a firm boundary of acceptable behavior, that is respectful behavior. When the time comes, he'll learn to write essays and do other written assignments. But this will be easier if he has already become respectful of those around him.

So don't despair of homeschooling through high school! Your student will be older then! He will get comfortable in his body and be able to think once again. If he hasn't grown oppositional through his junior high years fighting not-very-realistic expectations all the time, he will, by the first or second year of high school, become amenable to education once more, and that positive attitude will enhance his ability to learn. What you'd have struggled to teach him as a 12 or 13 year old will be much more readily assimilated when he gets just a little more mature. And you'll arrive at this stage ready to greet it with joy, rather than by throwing in the towel.

Kristin Lavransdatter

I am re-reading the book by Sigrid Undset, Kristin Lavransdatter, this time the newer translation by Tiina Nunnally. I keep wishing that I had an index to the characters, because after so many Andresson's, Bjorgulfson's, Gjeslings, and so on, I sometimes wonder "Who is this?" when a name comes up! LOL--this might be due to reading in short bursts of "mother-time" or it may just be the nature of the book, with its Norwegian names and many complexities.

It is a wonderful read, and as a friend said to me recently, "It is a book that everyone ought to read!" I surely would like for it to have a larger audience, but I seldom find that anyone I know has read it. At over 1100 pages, Kristin Lavransdatter is a somewhat serious endeavor! Helen Alvare, former Director of Planning and Information for the Pro-Life Secretariat of the National Conference of Catholic Bishops, once wrote that it was must-read for any girl coming of age because of its lessons in the consequences of our choices.

So I'm wondering, dare I attempt to write a guide to Kristin Lavransdatter? Could I possibly find the time to do so? Stay tuned!

For a excellent review of this masterpiece by Sigrid Undset, winner of the Nobel Prize in Literature, read this.