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The Homeschool Mom Vocation

I often look at how God the Father treats me for guidance in parenting my kids. For example, when I need to refresh my resolve not to nag them, or I'm tempted to belabor some recent failing on their part, I try to recall the story of the Prodigal Son. The father in that story did not harangue his son over blowing his inheritance; the son felt remorse enough without dad heaping on the guilt.

Today after Mass I was reflecting on the Church as the bride of Christ. Christ and His Church are a model for husband and wife. And the Church teaches. Then it hit me: The bride teaches! She is responsible for forming her children, the body. And I, my husband's bride, am responsible for teaching our children. But just as the Church is under the lordship of Jesus Christ, I, too, must teach under my husband's authority, in union with him. He is as important to our homeschool as Christ is to the Church!

I think this is fodder for further reflection.

I Got Tagged!

After two posts citing The Cobbler, I guess I shouldn't be surprised that he tagged me. Here's the meme:

1. Pick up the nearest book (of at least 123 pages).
2. Open the book to page 123.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the next three sentences.
5. Tag five people.

Wonderful to relate! immediately there appeared on all these loaves the sign of the Cross, most beautifully figured; then of these loaves, some were eaten and some miraculously preserved. And the Holy Father, having seen the miracle, took of the loaves with him, and departed, leaving St. Clare with his blessing.
At that time, there dwelt in the Convent Sister Ortolana, the mother of St. Clare, and Sister Agnes, her own sister, full of virtue and of the Holy Spirit, and many other Religious; to whom St. Francis sent many sick and infirm, and they, by their prayers, and by the sign of the most holy Cross, restored health to them all.

This is from The Little Flowers of St. Francis of Assisi.

And now I tag:

Greene Exundham

Valerie

The Stopper Family

JoAnna

Junosmom

More Wisdom

Speaking of The Cobbler, I was checking out his other blog, and found this post about why young men need their own retreats. I especially liked reason #7: "Because religion isn't just something we do to keep our moms happy, it's something we do because we know better than to try to be men without it." Wow, pretty cool insight for an 18 year old!

Prayer for Christian Unity

e are in the middle of Prayer for Christian Unity Week, which runs Jan. 18-25. At Mass on Saturday, Father talked about the need for Christian unity not only between Catholics and Protestants, but also among Catholics. I think that this post by The Cobbler on The Three Anachronisms blog addresses very eloquently how the Church is enriched by both traditionalists and charismatics, and challenges us not to write off one or the other.

(Clipart courtesy FCIT)

Grace & the Mass

Today I received a note in a Christmas card telling me how lucky I am that my children love their Faith. Believe me, I feel deeply blessed and tremendously grateful! God has granted me my heart's desire with that one, and I pray that He always will.

Today we also got a card and note from a dear Carmelite priest who lives in Ireland. He's the priest who gave the contemplative prayer retreat on which dh and I met so many moons ago in California. Once again, Father has given us the supreme gift: twice weekly Masses for our family for a year!! Just thinking about it overwhelms me!

Getting the two cards on the same day made me think that perhaps it's been Father's spiritual bouquets of Masses for us all these years that has enabled the faithfulness of our family. Oh, I'm by no means claiming sainthood for any of us; we confront our fallen natures on a daily basis I'm afraid. But it is true: my kids love God, love their Catholic Faith, and they want to do God's will. I don't deserve this gift. Thankfully, God doesn't usually give us what we deserve.

To Share, or Not to Share, and Here is a Question

How often have those of you who homeschool had someone say, "Oh I could never do that!"? And you mutter some polite reply, down-playing that you have any innate talent at work. Maybe you wanted to shout, "Yes you could!" but kept the words inside lest you make the other person uncomfortable. For you know, when people make such disclaimers, they aren't saying homeschooling is bad; often they see it as a truly wonderful thing, but they justify not looking into it further with the belief that they could never manage. I confess, on more than one occasion I wanted to reply, "No, you probably couldn't homeschool if you still expect to keep your house just so, and if you aren't prepared to give up life as you know it." I'd go on, "Homeschooling is very worth it, of course!"

Similarly, I have lost count of how often someone has said to me, "I'd love to have a big family, but I just know that I couldn't manage more than my one [or two]." "It's grace," I usually reply. But I think that one reason people ooh and ahh over meeting someone homeschooling a large family is that they think I'm doing it and still managing to keep a beautiful house, or that I'm so well-organized that keeping track of everything is a piece of cake. Far from it, on both counts!

When my children were younger and I was new to homeschooling, I thought that it was important to be aware of the impression we gave to others because it reflected on homeschoolers and/or large families in general. And so when we'd dine out from time to time, we were careful to leave good tips, lest we leave a bad impression. Having the kids be nicely dressed and groomed we thought reflected well on our vocation. Speaking positively about my kids, besides being good for them, was also thought wise lest people be put off by the difficulties involved in our choice.

Now I can see another side to the question. I can see that sometimes being picture perfect (not that we ever ever were!) could reinforce for someone that they aren't suited to lots of kids or homeschooling, because they know they'd have a hard time keeping up. It can be a disservice to our fellow homeschool moms by putting pressure on them to be high achievers. If CD can keep house and home and educate her children all the while sewing all her family's clothes and being a gourmet cook, why can't I? I know moms who think something is wrong with them because they can't do it all, and they feel that they should be able to.

Some friends popped by my house one day to take the kids and me to the park for a surprise party. When one of the moms, a mother of 8 boys, saw my house, she exclaimed, "Oh your house makes me feel so good! It's like mine!" Which was to say a bit of a mess. But these moms had planned around that, and rather than risk embarrassing me by having everyone show up at my house to surprise me, they had the party at a park. I was loved for me, messy house and all, and not because I performed all of my duties well all of the time.

So I want to throw out this question: Is it more important to create a good impression and protect the image of the large, homeschooling family, or to give another permission to be human by sharing our own human imperfections with them? What do you think?