Something to Contemplate

My thanks to Nancy Carpentier Brown over at Flying Stars for bringing to my attention the Holy Father's

Angelus address

from the First Sunday of Advent. This was just what I needed to lift me out of my own limited view of time! How remarkable that we never feel that we have enough, even though, as Pope Benedict points out, "God gives us His time."

An Obama Presidency...

,,,would increase the number of abortions. The bishops see this is the case, and so they issued a joint statement a couple of weeks ago. I got the following email tonight from a friend of mine, and I think he captures many of our thoughts and feelings, as well as noting how very costly to life an Obama win would be. Feel free to send this onto your friends and family.

Friends,

As the election rapidly approaches, I’m very tired of the ads, the emails, the debates, and the discord. I’m sure you are too. With that said, I apologize in advance for yet another email. However, from a Catholic Christian perspective, I felt compelled to share the letter promulgated by the US Conference of Catholic Bishops a little over a week ago. It is only a two page document, but full of wisdom. It is attached for those who would like to review it. If, at this point, you are ready to delete this email, PLEASE don’t. Regardless of your political persuasion, the Bishops’ letter is of UTMOST importance.

In the letter, the Bishops make a very poignant observation. They stated “even the limited pro-life laws allowed by the Court since Roe have been shown to reduce abortions substantially, leading to a steady decline in the abortion rate since 1980”. Their point is that although Roe vs. Wade has not been overturned, many of the court decisions since 1973 have lead to a significant reduction in the number of abortions. According to the bishops, “other modest and widely supported laws have saved millions of lives”. This really resonated with me because, at times, I feel that all our prayers and efforts in this area have born such little fruit.

The Bishops’ encouraging statements are echoed and confirmed by those in favor of abortion (see this link to ProChoice America). Bullet 4 on the link is especially encouraging.

The Bishops then proceed to point out that these gains stand threatened by the “Freedom of Choice Act”. This act, which is supported by one of the candidates (see video at the end of this paragraph), would automatically overturn existing state laws in the following areas:

- State abortion reporting requirements in all 50 states
- Forty-four states’ laws concerning parental involvement
- Forty states’ laws on restricting later-term abortions
- Forty-six states’ conscience protection laws for individual health care providers
- Twenty-seven states’ conscience protection laws for institutions
- Thirty-eight states’ bans on partial-birth abortions
- Thirty-three states’ laws on requiring counseling before an abortion
- Sixteen states’ laws concerning ultrasounds before an abortion



I am personally VERY TIRED of our current two party system as I don’t think either party is really looking out for our best interests. I too am frustrated by the state of the economy, the poverty that plagues our disenfranchised, the war, and the greed that has invaded our 401K retirements. However, as Christians, we are called to be SELFLESS.

My heart aches for the millions of lives that are cut short by abortion and the pain that their mothers will endure the rest of their lives. Social justice demands that a mother facing an unwanted pregnancy is made fully aware of the emotional pain that threatens the rest of her life as a result of a decision made at a very vulnerable time in her life. The Freedom of Choice Act will remove/prevent those safeguards for these vulnerable women – a true social justice issue.

As you discern how God is calling you to cast your vote, please prayerfully consider the Bishops’ comments – the stakes are TRULY high this time around.

Peace…Tim

Overturning Roe v. Wade

How often have you heard, "overturning Roe v. Wade won't really achieve anything for the pro-life cause"? Well, it turns out that 46 states had their laws over-ridden by that 1973 Supreme Court decision. If Roe is overturned, those state laws could/would be active again. The immediate effect would be to lower the number of abortions because abortion was already restricted in many states before Roe.

Catholics Can Make a Difference

...if they have well-formed consciences!

Catholics and Obama

George Weigel writes in Newsweek a rebuttal to the Catholic professors who have publicly endorsed Obama for president.

Among other excellent points, Weigel states:

Is John McCain...a perfect pro-life candidate? Of course not. But Barack Obama is a perfect pro-life nightmare.

What You Won't Read in the Average Newspaper

I was perusing Elizabeth Foss's blog, In the Heart of My Home, and came across two links here, and here, to information that needs wider dissemination. The first deals with the predicted effects of Obama's economic proposals, and the second is a pro-life speech given by Governor Palin in Johnstown, PA.

Our Lady of the Rosary

Today's her feast day! And today's Mass readings included the story of Mary and Martha, the one in which Martha is complaining to the Lord about her sister's lack of help, and Jesus tells her that Mary has chosen the better part. The story that gave me the title for this blog!

So what does that tell me, that on the feast of Our Lady of the Rosary the Church in her wisdom chooses to remind us that we mustn't worry and get overly concerned with tasks such that we miss listening to Jesus? It tells me that praying the Rosary is a wonderful way to become recollected and to prepare my soul to hear the Son of God made Man. It tells me that through the Rosary I will find the balance between the Martha and Mary within me. It tells me that my heavenly Mother wants to come to my aid! I feel so blessed to have Mother Church and Mother Mary!

It was a "Mom Moment": The McCain - Palin Rally Part 2

In our hurry to get to the rally Tuesday morning, I had neglected to look at the name of the street where we parked, but I knew that it was off of Main Street so we headed over. I noticed the side streets blocked off with squad cars. There weren't a whole lot of people around. I asked an officer if McCain and Palin were coming this way. "Yes, just as soon as they get done shaking hands down there," motioning a couple of blocks over to where the rally had been.

"Oooohhhh! Let's go back!" said Little Miss, jumping excitedly.

"There's no time for that," interjected the officer. "They'll be getting in their campaign bus in a minute."

A woman came up to me. "Yes, I heard that they're going to be driving right by here, but they'll be going by fast, so be sure to stay out of the street."

We pretty much had our side of the block to ourselves, so we spread out and waited, LM and Mr. E proudly holding their "Vote McCain Palin" signs that LM had made. And sure enough, first came police cars and motorcycles, and then the Straight Talk campaign bus. We could see both McCain and Palin in the front of the bus, and the bus was traveling...slowly!

There were people on the other side of the street as well, and I so wanted McCain and Palin to see these children of mine who'd been such troopers throughout the 4 hours we'd been in Lebanon. I was further up the street from LM and Mr. E and I began wildly waving my hands, pointing down at my youngest two kids as if to say, "Look! Look here! These kids are cheering for you!" And then it happened.

I saw Sarah Palin clearly (well, as clearly as you can through a bus window!) and I knew she'd seen me, had seen the mom wanting her kids to be noticed. Our gazes met and there was an affirmative nod and a big smile, as if to say, "I know! I see them!" It was a "Mom Moment": we'd connected, she knew what I wanted; she'd read my mother's heart.

LM, who hadn't seen me gesturing, tells what happened. "I saw Sarah Palin get John McCain's attention, like, look at these kids over here. And he did! He looked at our signs and pointed!" Oh yes, he did, LM! McCain looked intently (reading them) and then his face lit up and his smile was huge as he pointed and shared the moment with his running mate.

"And did you see Gov. Palin?" LM asked. "She acted excited" [LM demos her pulling her arms close in to her body and sitting on the edge of her seat] "and she waved like this at us!" [LM demos a little wave by bending her fingers forward from her palm, with her arms still pulled in close to her body.] And then they'd passed and the bus was on its way.

We'd only been 3 people in a crowd of 7,000 that morning; while the kids had listened intently to the speeches, they'd seen very little of the candidates. I consider it another wonderful blessing that we just happened to park where we did and to be returning to our car at that particular time. As they rode by in the Straight Talk bus, John McCain and Sarah Palin were only 4 or 5 feet away. Had the bus windows been open, we could have shaken hands. As it is, my kids got the thrill of knowing they'd been seen -- and their signs read -- by the man and woman who hopefully will be the next president and vice-president of this great country ours.

Impressions from the McCain - Palin Rally

This morning Mr. Encyclopedia, LM, and I headed out a little before 7 to drive to the McCain - Palin Rally in Lebanon, Ohio, about 15 miles from our home. John McCain and Sarah Palin were speaking at The Golden Lamb, where 12 (count 'em!) presidents have previously appeared. A crowd of 5,000 was expected; I'm told that that was how many came out for Pres. Bush 4 years ago. Local news reports put today's turnout at closer to 10,000!

And it was raining!! Yes, imagine 8 city blocks lined with people under umbrellas. But spirits were high. I must admit, I wondered as we walked and walked to find the line's end whether we ought to just go home now, stopping on the way for coffee. :) Did I mention that we're not morning people? But we hung in there, and I have to say that the upbeat attitudes around me were a big assist. There seemed to be people of all ages from all walks of life.

It was with relief that we finally made it to the security check point and I realized that we were going to get in. "In" is perhaps misleading: the rally was outdoors, but they'd cordoned off a huge area in front of the hotel/restaurant and the only way in was through the metal detectors. Although the check point was covered, the table on which I laid my fanny pack and camera case to be inspected was sopping wet, probably because that was how we all were arriving. Though not a few had carried lawn chairs, they had to be left at the gate, along with all umbrellas. I hung Mr. E's compact umbrella on the larger one LM and I had shared and laid it against a barrier, hoping that I'd be able find it again.

Now I don't presume to know how God would vote in this election, but I do know that we were abundantly blessed this morning. For after we got past security, there wasn't another drop of rain! Amazing after being in drizzle to downpour for an hour and forty minutes. We no sooner found a spot in which to stand, then the MC for the event, Hall of Famer, Anthony Munoz, took the mike and the festivities began. It was exactly 9 o'clock and on schedule. We were fairly near the back of the crowd, but I found that I could still see (most of the time.) LM and Mr. E had no hope of gaining a clear view but the sound system was good, and they were enjoying themselves. We'd been given "Thunder Sticks" with John McCain's name on them; LM blew hers up before I'd even read the directions on how to inflate them! So I gave her mine to do as well.

We heard from local officials and politicians first. Both kids took note of the men on rooftops and listened intently as one speaker told of trying to take a short-cut at a previous rally and being stopped (and interrogated) by secret service. "My kids learned a new word that day: sniper." When Sarah Palin spoke, I really wanted them to be able to see her. A young woman who looked to be in her early 20's tried to find a spot for them to see, but they were just too short. So I bravely asked a man to my left if he would mind giving my daughter a quick boost up so she could say she saw the candidates. (McCain was on the platform when Gov. Palin spoke, as was Sarah's husband, Todd.) He was most obliging, and repeated the effort for my son. What a kindness! And how blessed I felt that this man proved to be so strong: neither of my kids are lightweights, but he made it look easy!

There were all kinds of signs, pre-printed and homemade. "Working Moms for McCain" and "The New Mac Attack." We all chuckled at one that said, "Read My Lipstick: Drill for Oil Now. Sarah!" LM and I took turns holding up her signs that read, "Vote McCain Palin" which she'd colored in pink, green, blue, and red. Thankfully she'd had me laminate them the night before, or they'd have been ruined in the rain. On the way in we'd seen a bumper sticker that exhorted, "Annoy a Liberal: Work Hard and Be Happy!"

Palin's speech pretty much echoed her acceptance speech at the convention, although she threw in a few more items, such as mentioning that as governor of Alaska she'd put the veto pen to nearly a half a billion dollars in reckless spending. I thought that McCain was more dynamic than he'd been at the convention. How could he not be energized by the crowds that had waited hours in the rain to hear him speak?! He was relaxed enough to joke: Saying we needed to reprocess and store spent nuclear fuel he added "The French do it," [slight pause] then, "My Friends, we always want to imitate the French." There was laughter and then he continued, "...we now have a pro-America president of France, by the way, which shows if you live long enough, anything can happen in the world!"

At the close of the rally, the kids and I hurried to where we'd left our umbrellas, only to discover that with the removal of the metal detectors, most of the umbrellas had been tossed in one huge pile. Immediately those closest to the pile started holding up umbrellas for people in the crowd to claim. Never-the-less, we were getting smooshed. When a lady realized there were children being squeezed, she was alarmed. I told her I was trying to get them out of the crowd, so that they could wait in the open while I retrieved our umbrellas. This woman proceeded to command others' attention and I watched a chain of action help the kids escape the crush. How cool was that? And it wasn't long before I spotted my pair of umbrellas where I'd left them, and got someone to hand them over to me. God is good!

Sarah Palin had said in her speech that small town America was what it was all about, and lauded how great that is. This rang so true as we strode away from the crowd only to have a woman call out to us. Although I hadn't ever met her, she was from our parish and had recognized us. "Where are your other kids?" she asked. (Pretzel was just getting over a sinus infection and had elected to stay home, and Stand Up had wanted to come but had stayed up until 1 AM the night before working on chemistry homework, and couldn't get up so early.) Then, a few paces later, a car exiting an alley stopped abruptly as did we at its appearance. And who was it but a family from our local homeschool group. Small world, even in a crowd of 10,000.

We visited a few minutes and then continued on our trek to our car. I will post later about what turned out to be the biggest blessing of the day.

ETA: According to Wednesday's Cincinnati Enquirer, Lebanon police put the crowd at 7,000. That was still more than turned out for Bush in '04, according to Mayor Amy Brewer.

R.E.M. Curriculum Plan

I haven't done any formal research, but I'd bet that most boys who transfer from homeschooling to brick-and-mortar schools do so during or at the end of the junior high years. Why? Because starting at about age 11 or 12, boys in general are not well suited to homeschooling. And many parents assume (erroneously, I might add) that the fault lies with their homeschool. They believe, having just survived the junior high years, that high school can only be worse, and so they give up. In reality, boys this age are simply not easy to educate.

I should know: my fifth son is going into 8th grade. Oh, the Pretzel is a very compliant child. He wants to please, to do as he should school-wise. But he forgets. Repeatedly. Just like he doesn't know his own strength, and so doors tend to be shut with enough force to pop nails out of drywall. And plastic cups are cracked before their drink is drunk. And an indoor voice is... nonexistent.

My second son was in public school -- our town had no Catholic schools -- when I learned from his choir director that when boys' bodies are growing rapidly, as they do in those junior high years, there isn't anything leftover for their brains. All their energy, all their bodily resources, are going into growing taller and stronger and heavier. That's when they quit thinking. Quite literally.

Haven't you ever noticed that junior high boys have the maturity of, say, four year olds? They want what they want when they want it. They act without thinking about the consequences. They feel invincible. They wear you out! And no matter how many times you've told them (something, anything... to do a chore, or do a math problem) something else will capture their attention, and they're off, sometimes just lost in their thoughts and sometimes down the street. That they need to read a book before writing the report on it, or to put away the clean dishes from the dishwasher before adding dirty ones, is a detail that somehow escapes their notice.

It is particularly heart-wrenching with nice boys, the ones who try to obey and want to excel. These boys are truly dismayed when they discover they've broken the vacuum because of standing on it, or gotten smudges on the newly painted walls from flinging slime at them. Who'd have thunk it? "Pretzel, why is the lawn mower in the middle of the back yard?" "Ohhhhhh yeeeaaahhhhh," he says with wonder as he runs outdoors to either put the machine away, or finish the mowing job.

My oldest two sons attended regular schools, so when Thinker, who was homeschooled from the beginning, hit junior high age and I searched in vain for his gray matter that had gone missing, I knew our homeschool was not to blame. It was then that I developed my curriculum plan to address the imbalance that is inherent in middle schoolers or junior high guys: R. E. M.

It stands for Reading, Exercise, and Math. Do you know that you can actually absorb a lot of knowledge just from reading??? Especially if what is being read is engaging and the boy is not distracted knowing that he's going to have to write out answers to questions based on said reading? Besides, at the point when the boy would be writing an essay based on what he read, it is quite likely that his body will choose that very time to grow two inches in height, and although he'll swear to you that he did read the book, he'll not be able to access the material until he's added a half a foot to his height. Some day, when he's 16 or so, your family will be having an animated discussion around the dinner table and your son will relate why the issue at hand is just like one he read about in such-and-such a book a few years ago. Try not to stare, dumb-founded at the re-emergence of his reasoning abilities, but simply smile and say, "Why yes, it is!"

Exercise. House apes, I mean, boys, need lots of opportunity to flex their muscles, to test their physical endurance, to "run off steam." Give it to them. Now is a good time to invest in a trampoline if you haven't already. Plan on a good portion of every school day being spent outdoors; 60-70% is not unrealistic! Let them run with the dog, hourly if needed. Have them shoot some hoops before sitting down to do math.

The one indispensable subject, in my opinion, is math. Whatever math curriculum you're using at whatever level, try to have the junior high student do it daily, or at least 4 days out of 7. Math is sequential, it builds on itself and doesn't lend itself to cramming. There are just too many math facts and skills to learn. That's why there are no Reader's Digest Condensed Math books! Abridged versions would be leaving out something critical.

But you can set aside writing activities until the boy's body is no longer playing the Incredible Hulk with him. If you must do other work with your son, do as much as possible orally. I tell you, he hasn't the resources to think, write, and remember all at once. Writing without the other two usually isn't very useful. In fact, it might actually be detrimental if it reinforces poor spelling and grammar because a certain segment of his brain is on sabbatical. Better to wait until he's rejoined civilized society and can compose and keep a thought and write or type it, too.

Now that you've redesigned your expectations to fit his reality, you will likely find the junior high youth to be much more pleasant in your homeschool. There will be far fewer times that you'll feel the need to look up enrollment dates for the nearest brick-and-mortar school. Because he no longer feels that what you're requiring of him is impossible, he will be much more compliant. You will have freed him to concentrate on math and reading. He'll do better in those because he no longer faces hours of seat work. Instead, he'll exercise his body and in so doing, prepare his brain to learn from what he reads.

There's one more thing the junior high boy needs: to be required to be respectful at all times. He could argue that he'll never need to conjugate verbs in his chosen life's work, but he can't argue that he won't need the habit of a respectful attitude throughout his life. By using R.E.M., you'll have taken the burden off of him, and that should make it easier for him to gain control over his emotions and to handle his raging hormones. He needs you to set a firm boundary of acceptable behavior, that is respectful behavior. When the time comes, he'll learn to write essays and do other written assignments. But this will be easier if he has already become respectful of those around him.

So don't despair of homeschooling through high school! Your student will be older then! He will get comfortable in his body and be able to think once again. If he hasn't grown oppositional through his junior high years fighting not-very-realistic expectations all the time, he will, by the first or second year of high school, become amenable to education once more, and that positive attitude will enhance his ability to learn. What you'd have struggled to teach him as a 12 or 13 year old will be much more readily assimilated when he gets just a little more mature. And you'll arrive at this stage ready to greet it with joy, rather than by throwing in the towel.

Kristin Lavransdatter

I am re-reading the book by Sigrid Undset, Kristin Lavransdatter, this time the newer translation by Tiina Nunnally. I keep wishing that I had an index to the characters, because after so many Andresson's, Bjorgulfson's, Gjeslings, and so on, I sometimes wonder "Who is this?" when a name comes up! LOL--this might be due to reading in short bursts of "mother-time" or it may just be the nature of the book, with its Norwegian names and many complexities.

It is a wonderful read, and as a friend said to me recently, "It is a book that everyone ought to read!" I surely would like for it to have a larger audience, but I seldom find that anyone I know has read it. At over 1100 pages, Kristin Lavransdatter is a somewhat serious endeavor! Helen Alvare, former Director of Planning and Information for the Pro-Life Secretariat of the National Conference of Catholic Bishops, once wrote that it was must-read for any girl coming of age because of its lessons in the consequences of our choices.

So I'm wondering, dare I attempt to write a guide to Kristin Lavransdatter? Could I possibly find the time to do so? Stay tuned!

For a excellent review of this masterpiece by Sigrid Undset, winner of the Nobel Prize in Literature, read this.

The Prison Angel

Currently I'm reading the book of Mother Teresa's private writings, Come Be My Light. There is so much to reflect on in the holy nun's experience! It brought to mind another book by Mary Jordan and Kevin Sullivan that I read a couple of summers ago: The Prison Angel: Mother Antonia's Journey from Beverly Hills to a Life of Service in a Mexican Jail.

Admire her though we might, Mother Teresa's quest to serve the "poorest of the poor" is far beyond what most of us can envision. And her work having begun half a world away (from us in the USA) adds to the sense of uniqueness of Mother Teresa's call. But what about a mother of seven who grew up with every advantage, who, after two divorces, gives up everything she has to move into a Tijuana prison to serve? We can't distance ourselves from Mother Antonia as we do Mother Teresa because Mother Antonia, albeit most of us don't have Hollywood roots, is one of us: an American, a mom, a woman with a very imperfect life.

This is a book you should read for many reasons. Sometimes called the "Mother Teresa of Tijuana," the former Mary Clarke had a heart for service nurtured in her from when she was a little girl and would accompany her father on his charitable work. Now Mother Antonia, she is an inspiration not only for her ministry to brutal criminals and drug dealers inside the prison and out, but also because she embarked on this work full-time at the age of 50! She started a religious order specifically geared toward helping women in their later years realize a second vocation. There's a lot to contemplate here about what we do with our lives once our child-rearing and homemaking duties are no longer front and center.

Not only that, but Jordan and Sullivan's book presents a vivid picture of the plague affecting our southern neighbor--and us. The drug dealing just south of the border reaches into our country, as does the violence which comes with it. In our fair, free country, where the accused and prisoners have rights, it is eye-opening to discover that the poor in Tijuana's prisons are left to fend for themselves, even for basic necessities such as food and medical care. Mother Antonia works tirelessly to provide for them, and like Mother Teresa, embraces their poverty, living in a cell within the prison.

Married to one another, Jordan and Sullivan are Pulitzer Prize-winning reporters with the Washington Post. Their book has garnered 5 stars on Amazon in 21 reviews! Read it. Tell others about it.

I Love My Parish!

There are over 3,200 registered families at our parish, and we have a K through 8 school. But as far as I know, there are only 2-3 homeschool families. And one of those only homeschools for K or grades 1-2 and then enrolls her children in the school.

So often there are conflicts in parishes between the families with students in the school and those with students in Religious Ed. Or between the homeschoolers and the school families. But I haven't seen that kind of conflict at my church.

Last fall my three youngest joined the children's choir, which meets for practice twice a month after school. Most of the kids attend the parish school, and they sing at the weekly school Mass as well as at a Sunday Mass once a month. When they found out my kids were homeschooled, they were invited to come sing with the others at the school Masses. My kids were thrilled as they love to sing. And the students in the choir greeted the news that they were homeschooled with comments like, "Cool!"

Not only that, but Pretzel tried out for a cantoring position and got one! So several times this year he and a fellow student cantored the responsorial psalm together. Today was special, though. Pretzel sang the Psalm solo. I was so proud of him! And so very, very grateful for this parish -- and its school -- which could welcome my children and let them fully participate.

It is as it should be, I think. But we all know far too many things that aren't as they should be, so I don't take this for granted.

We need a new motto...

They say "Cleanliness is next to Godliness," but right now, I wish the saying so well known was something like, "Modesty is next to sanctity"! A good friend -- a mother of a houseful of boys like myself who doesn't have time to read blogs, let alone write one -- laments that even the homeschool girls wear tight jeans and shorts, and it is driving her teen sons to distraction. "What are the mothers and fathers of those daughters thinking?!"

Indeed! Even though there are books about dressing with dignity, it seems that many a family is oblivious to what their daughters are to the young men they're around: near occasions of sin! Yep, you read that right! Her son was miserable the day after a teen picnic because he'd fallen. His raging hormones and virile body got the better of him. His dad was sympathetic, but had no answers, since one would just about have to give up socializing to avoid girls whose clothing is skin-tight, revealing, and/or provocative.

Now, maybe it's that the moms of teen girls don't realize that boys, too, have raging hormones. Maybe the dads don't want to admit that their daughters look sexy. Or maybe it's that families are getting so much exposure to our culture, that their sensitivity to the issue has been dulled. Perhaps the lack of suitable clothing has them stymied for a solution.

sigh But we can't give up! We can't just tell young men who want to be chaste, "Oh well." Yes, when they are grown men, they likely will have to learn to deal with immodest dress, even if they become priests! But we're talking about guys at a time in their lives when their bodies are in hyper-drive. If you've read any Theology of the Body, you know that patterns are being set in these years, too.

My eldest son has been very blessed: he decided while in college that it'd be neat to be able to say when he was married that he'd only kissed his wife. God gave him that grace! His brothers know this story, and I suspect some of them are hoping for the same grace. So it's not like I have sons who are running with the popular culture. Yet I have heard them, too, mention wishing that girls would not be dressed so immodestly. It is hard enough to keep one's ideals and live virtuously, without having the girls whose company you so enjoy torment you. Even unintentionally.

Read that again: Torment. In a previous life I spent time as a nurse on an adolecent unit. Teen boys are going to respond physically to your daughters if those girls' clothing hugs their new curves and draws the eye below the hipline. Oh, of course, most well-bred Catholic homeschooled boys will hide those responses. Most probably won't even reveal how they feel to their dads as did my friend's son. But don't kid yourself; young men are being stimulated by immodest dress, no matter how much they wish they weren't! No matter how much denial there is on the part of moms and dads, daughters and sons.

Do you really want your daughter to be a near occasion of sin?

This Church Should be Filled...

I was sitting at adoration yesterday evening in a nearly empty church, and wondering how could that be...

There are 12,000 people at my parish; how is it that not even 10%, nor a mere 1%, are present every Tuesday evening?

Oh, I know, people are incredibly busy and there aren't enough hours in the day for most of us. But, if people only knew, only knew Who it is Who calls to them from that monstrance on the altar! "You are the Christ," said St. Peter to Jesus.

Yes! It is Jesus the Lord who humbles Himself awaiting our adoration on altars and in tabernacles all across the world. Won't you oblige Him?

He is Risen! Alleluia!

What a glorious day! Great joy! I just want to share one thing from a terrific homily this morning, which Father Marty says he borrowed from Pope John XXIII. "On the third day, John and Peter run to the tomb. Easter morning finds the Church running toward Jesus!"

What a magnificent image, the Church of the new age running toward Jesus! May the good Lord see fit to spur me on always, ever running to Him!

Iraqi Archbishop Found Dead

Chaldean Catholic Archbishop Faraj Rahho of Iraq has been found dead. You can read about it here and here

May his soul, and the souls of his companions, through the mercy of God rest in peace, and may Perpetual Light shine upon them, amen.

May we all also offer prayers for our Iraqi brothers and sisters in Christ at this assault on their shepherd.

The Monastic, Domestic Life, Part 2

What brought my attention to the article by Rev. Rolheiser was the following which was posted to my local homeschool group's email list:

What is a monastery? A monastery is not so much a place set apart for monks and nuns as it is a place set apart (period). It is also a place to learn the value of powerlessness and a place to learn that time is not ours, but God's.

Our home and our duties can, just like a monastery, teach us those things. For example, the mother who stays home with small children experiences a very real withdrawal from the world. Her existence is definitely monastic. Her tasks and preoccupations remove her from the centers of power and social importance. And she feels it.

Moreover, the demands of young children also provide her with what St. Bernard, one of the great architects of monasticism, called the "monastic bell". All monasteries have a bell. Bernard, in writing his rules for monasticism told his monks that whenever the monastic bell rang they were to drop whatever they were doing and go
immediately to the particular activity (prayer, meals, work, study, sleep) to which the bell was summoning them. He was adamant that they respond immediately, stating that if they were writing a letter they were to stop in mid-sentence when the bell rang. The idea in his mind was that when the bell called, it called you to the next task and you were to respond immediately, not because you want to, but because it's time, it's God's time. For him, the monastic bell was intended as a discipline to stretch the heart by always taking you beyond your own agenda to God's agenda.

Hence, a mother rearing children, perhaps in a more privileged way even than a professional contemplative is forced, almost against her will, to constantly stretch her heart. For years, while rearing children, her time is never her own, her own needs have to be kept in second place and every time she turns around a hand is reaching out and demanding something. She hears the monastic bell many times during the day and she has to drop things in mid-sentence and respond, not because she wants to, but because it's time for that activity and time isn't her time, but God's time.

This was apparently taken from an article in the Seattle archdiocese's newspaper, The Catholic Northwest Progress. Not wanting to post the material secondhand so-to-speak, I went to their website, but its search function wasn't operational. So I Googled and found the link I gave in my previous post to another article of Rev. Rolheiser's on the same theme. However, upon more reflection, I decided to post this quote, because I think it more directly addresses our lives as homeschooling mothers.

A second reason I decided to post this quote was reading Flying Stars this evening. Nancy C. Brown talks about accepting life's interruptions cheerfully! Note to self: I'm to live a monastic life, not a moanstic one!

The Monastic Domestic Life

About 12 years ago Kimberly Hahn spoke in Des Moines, Iowa. She related a story about holding the baby while trying to cook dinner with a toddler clinging to her legs and how she thought of the cloistered nuns going into prayer about this hour and said to God, "Wrong vocation, Lord! Wrong vocation!" She was kidding, of course. But we moms do have our moments!

So it was with great interest that I read this about how our lives as mothers at home can be truly monastic.

Happy Lent!

Rudy's Daughter, Too

March 1st. I still remember the snow on the ground, lawns buried in icy whiteness, and sidewalks that were navigated with peril. I remember awakening at 6 that Thursday morning to sounds in the living room: my mom sitting on the davenport in her nightgown and robe sobbing, two police officers standing there--strangers let in on an intimate moment, witness to the pain. My 17 year old brother was there, too, and as he saw me amble in he grimaced as if to say, "You don't want to come in here! Go back to bed!"

I saw my brother's look and ran right past him to my mom. Ignoring the policemen I asked her what was wrong. "I'll tell you later," she said through her tears. But I was persistent, and she too weak to fight me. "Your father's dead," she said at last.

What does that mean to a 7 year old? "Your father's dead." It would not be until later that evening that it would sink in, that my mind would finally try to grasp the meaning of the words. And then it felt as if I would die, too. "Never coming home" was too big a reality to take in, and as I contemplated exactly what that meant, that I would never see my daddy again, I became hysterical with grief, feeling that my very heart was being pierced and I could not survive.

Over the next few years I would have moments again of that unbearable grief. I was a latch-key kid of a single mom and my brother had moved away, so alone at home I would pray to God to please let it all be a mistake and please let my daddy come walking through the door. I would remember his last words to me, and remember how he sounded, and what it was like to climb into his lap. I had been his princess.

Then the memories of his person faded and one day I realized that I could no longer recollect in my mind what his voice sounded like. A new loss, to not be able to recall that sense of him alive, but with it I gave up wishing for his return. Eventually the overwhelming sorrow subsided.

I determined to be strong in life and did not grieve again for many years. I've often been told that I think like a guy, that is, I'm analytical, methodical, a problem-solver. It took me many years to ever let myself be vulnerable, especially to love. Still, I was extremely rational and fought off feelings of sadness, dismissing the loss as being "a long time ago."

A freedom of middle age has been to learn to honor my memories. No longer do they threaten anguish against which I must defend myself. No longer do I listen to my internalized elders--or others--telling me not to weep, not to feel the sadness. No, today I allow my tears. No little girl should have to lose her father, although many of us do. No little girl should have to grow up so fast, although I did. In many ways, I became the father I didn't have. But on this day, on March 1st, I let myself be the daughter again, the daughter mourning the loss of her daddy.

What Kind of Bright Idea is This, Anyway?

In December Congress passed an energy bill which bans the incandescent light bulb as an energy savings measure beginning in 2012. Right off the bat, maybe this doesn't sound like a bad idea. But then you learn that the new compact fluorescent bulbs (CFL's) contain mercury. Say what?! And there are special procedures to follow in case of breakage!

I don't know about your household, but in ours, light bulb breaks happen several times a year. Perhaps it has something to do with the fact that I have 4 boys still living at home. Just a couple of weeks ago Stand-Up was doing just that, I mean, standing up, when he somehow managed to knock the lamp on the end table to the floor. He turned on the light to see if it still worked and there was a mini-explosion. A closer examination of the bulb revealed a small hole at its base. And he was just standing up! Not horsing around, or anything. (Can you say rapid growth spurt--as in, doesn't know what size he is anymore?!)

So I'm reading about these new bulbs we're all going to be forced to buy, and several things give me great pause. First, when there is breakage, guess what they recommend? Open your windows to ventilate the house! You know, statistically at least of quarter of the breaks in our home are likely to occur when the outside temperature is below freezing. Exactly how are we going to conserve energy opening our windows in sub-freezing temps? To prevent problems they say to use a drop cloth when changing light bulbs! Excuse me, but we don't break light bulbs while changing them. We break them from dropping them while putting them away, from scrutinizing them in curiosity, not to mention the number one way, by knocking down lamps!! So now I'll not just have the broken glass to worry about, but mercury contamination as well!

Then there's this little gem: CFL's burn out sooner if they are turned on and off a lot, so the Energy Star people recommend leaving them on at least 15 minutes at a time! I have worked very hard to train my kids to turn off lights when they leave a room. Now I'm supposed to tell them leave them on? And are we really going to save energy if we leave all our lights on all the time? Because there's no way we're going to be able to keep track of how long a given light has been on so as to turn it off after 15 minutes.

I think this law must have been written without regard for homeschooling families who are home all day. And without regard to families that have kids! I'll be contacting my congressional representatives soon to demand that they revisit this part of the energy bill, because replacing the incandescent light bulb with mercury-containing fluorescents is just plain stupid!

A Light to the World...

With yesterday having been the feast of the Transfiguration, I thought it a good time to link to this post on Maureen Wittmann's blog regarding the mountain top experience of Franciscan University.

It's a Cake, I mean, *Book* Walk!

Cay has a new Book Walk going! These are so much fun! Even though I haven't won (yet!!) I still get to learn about wonderful books. Check it out; and good luck, everyone!

Who Needs a Curriculum?

So today Pretzel asks me, "Why does the apostle Philip have a Macedonian name? Did Alexander the Great conquer the Holy Land or something? He was Jewish, not Greek, right?"

Which left me saying, "Ummm, let's read up on that!" And we started pulling books off the shelves to see what we could learn about Alexander the Great, when he lived and what lands he conquered. But we never found more info on Philip other than what we already knew from Scripture. It made me wish I was on a first name basis with Anne and Warren Carroll and could just pick up the phone, call them, and ask, "What can you tell me about the apostle Philip?"

Oh, we did learn that Alexander the Great's father was named Philip!

Feast of St. Apollonia, Patron Saint of Teeth

Quite a number of years ago, I overheard our 3rd son talking to his sibs after he found 50 cents under his pillow. "There can't be a tooth fairy," he told them. "This must have been left by the patron saint of teeth. I don't know who that is, but there must be one!" Ahhh, the faith of children!

That led Krazyglue to search out a patron saint of teeth.
He settled upon St. Apollonia, a third century saint whose teeth were knocked out in an attempt to dissuade her of her Christian Faith. She was already invoked by those suffering from toothaches and dental diseases. Thus she became the one for whom the kids would leave their teeth, always reflecting on her sacrifice: "She gave her teeth for Christ."

Today is her feast day. You can read about her here or in this book.

Love2Learn is Giving Away Books!

Go here after 10 AM Pacific time Wednesday to read about today's winners and to learn how to sign up for the next giveaway.

The Homeschool Mom Vocation

I often look at how God the Father treats me for guidance in parenting my kids. For example, when I need to refresh my resolve not to nag them, or I'm tempted to belabor some recent failing on their part, I try to recall the story of the Prodigal Son. The father in that story did not harangue his son over blowing his inheritance; the son felt remorse enough without dad heaping on the guilt.

Today after Mass I was reflecting on the Church as the bride of Christ. Christ and His Church are a model for husband and wife. And the Church teaches. Then it hit me: The bride teaches! She is responsible for forming her children, the body. And I, my husband's bride, am responsible for teaching our children. But just as the Church is under the lordship of Jesus Christ, I, too, must teach under my husband's authority, in union with him. He is as important to our homeschool as Christ is to the Church!

I think this is fodder for further reflection.

I Got Tagged!

After two posts citing The Cobbler, I guess I shouldn't be surprised that he tagged me. Here's the meme:

1. Pick up the nearest book (of at least 123 pages).
2. Open the book to page 123.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the next three sentences.
5. Tag five people.

Wonderful to relate! immediately there appeared on all these loaves the sign of the Cross, most beautifully figured; then of these loaves, some were eaten and some miraculously preserved. And the Holy Father, having seen the miracle, took of the loaves with him, and departed, leaving St. Clare with his blessing.
At that time, there dwelt in the Convent Sister Ortolana, the mother of St. Clare, and Sister Agnes, her own sister, full of virtue and of the Holy Spirit, and many other Religious; to whom St. Francis sent many sick and infirm, and they, by their prayers, and by the sign of the most holy Cross, restored health to them all.

This is from The Little Flowers of St. Francis of Assisi.

And now I tag:

Greene Exundham

Valerie

The Stopper Family

JoAnna

Junosmom

More Wisdom

Speaking of The Cobbler, I was checking out his other blog, and found this post about why young men need their own retreats. I especially liked reason #7: "Because religion isn't just something we do to keep our moms happy, it's something we do because we know better than to try to be men without it." Wow, pretty cool insight for an 18 year old!

Prayer for Christian Unity

e are in the middle of Prayer for Christian Unity Week, which runs Jan. 18-25. At Mass on Saturday, Father talked about the need for Christian unity not only between Catholics and Protestants, but also among Catholics. I think that this post by The Cobbler on The Three Anachronisms blog addresses very eloquently how the Church is enriched by both traditionalists and charismatics, and challenges us not to write off one or the other.

(Clipart courtesy FCIT)

Grace & the Mass

Today I received a note in a Christmas card telling me how lucky I am that my children love their Faith. Believe me, I feel deeply blessed and tremendously grateful! God has granted me my heart's desire with that one, and I pray that He always will.

Today we also got a card and note from a dear Carmelite priest who lives in Ireland. He's the priest who gave the contemplative prayer retreat on which dh and I met so many moons ago in California. Once again, Father has given us the supreme gift: twice weekly Masses for our family for a year!! Just thinking about it overwhelms me!

Getting the two cards on the same day made me think that perhaps it's been Father's spiritual bouquets of Masses for us all these years that has enabled the faithfulness of our family. Oh, I'm by no means claiming sainthood for any of us; we confront our fallen natures on a daily basis I'm afraid. But it is true: my kids love God, love their Catholic Faith, and they want to do God's will. I don't deserve this gift. Thankfully, God doesn't usually give us what we deserve.

To Share, or Not to Share, and Here is a Question

How often have those of you who homeschool had someone say, "Oh I could never do that!"? And you mutter some polite reply, down-playing that you have any innate talent at work. Maybe you wanted to shout, "Yes you could!" but kept the words inside lest you make the other person uncomfortable. For you know, when people make such disclaimers, they aren't saying homeschooling is bad; often they see it as a truly wonderful thing, but they justify not looking into it further with the belief that they could never manage. I confess, on more than one occasion I wanted to reply, "No, you probably couldn't homeschool if you still expect to keep your house just so, and if you aren't prepared to give up life as you know it." I'd go on, "Homeschooling is very worth it, of course!"

Similarly, I have lost count of how often someone has said to me, "I'd love to have a big family, but I just know that I couldn't manage more than my one [or two]." "It's grace," I usually reply. But I think that one reason people ooh and ahh over meeting someone homeschooling a large family is that they think I'm doing it and still managing to keep a beautiful house, or that I'm so well-organized that keeping track of everything is a piece of cake. Far from it, on both counts!

When my children were younger and I was new to homeschooling, I thought that it was important to be aware of the impression we gave to others because it reflected on homeschoolers and/or large families in general. And so when we'd dine out from time to time, we were careful to leave good tips, lest we leave a bad impression. Having the kids be nicely dressed and groomed we thought reflected well on our vocation. Speaking positively about my kids, besides being good for them, was also thought wise lest people be put off by the difficulties involved in our choice.

Now I can see another side to the question. I can see that sometimes being picture perfect (not that we ever ever were!) could reinforce for someone that they aren't suited to lots of kids or homeschooling, because they know they'd have a hard time keeping up. It can be a disservice to our fellow homeschool moms by putting pressure on them to be high achievers. If CD can keep house and home and educate her children all the while sewing all her family's clothes and being a gourmet cook, why can't I? I know moms who think something is wrong with them because they can't do it all, and they feel that they should be able to.

Some friends popped by my house one day to take the kids and me to the park for a surprise party. When one of the moms, a mother of 8 boys, saw my house, she exclaimed, "Oh your house makes me feel so good! It's like mine!" Which was to say a bit of a mess. But these moms had planned around that, and rather than risk embarrassing me by having everyone show up at my house to surprise me, they had the party at a park. I was loved for me, messy house and all, and not because I performed all of my duties well all of the time.

So I want to throw out this question: Is it more important to create a good impression and protect the image of the large, homeschooling family, or to give another permission to be human by sharing our own human imperfections with them? What do you think?

Juno

I read Barbara Nicolosi's glowing review of Juno, among others, and decided I really wanted to see the film. Roger Ebert says of Juno that it is the year's best movie. A mere 91 minutes, the film is about Juno, a 16 year old who finds herself pregnant after an impromptu encounter with one of her best friends. She decides to find a couple who would like to adopt the baby. The dialogue is witty and sassy, but there are some traces of tragedy interlaced in this comedy.

One thing that clearly stands out, despite Juno's many references to "it" or the "thing" inside her, is that she is growing a baby. Indeed, the characters tear up at the first ultrasound that shows the head, the hands, and the little feet. Both Vanessa, the woman who hopes to adopt, and the baby's biological father, Paulie, show awe at feeling the baby kick. In this age of dehumanizing doublespeak that is careful never to refer to the pre-born as a baby, the excitement that such new life generates in the film is refreshing. The truth of life, and that pregnancy equals a new human life, is very much manifest, and that was great to see.

What wasn't so great to see, in my opinion, was a mere 16 year old who figures out what to do with her girlfriend, and only then tells her parents her plans. Nicolosi and others describe Juno's parents as wonderfully supportive, and they are, but where was their guidance in Juno's life in the first place? I know that teens are at the stage where they are becoming independent, and that many of today's teens would not welcome parental guidance. But isn't that a parent's job? I think that too many parents simply give up when the teen years roll around, and in doing so, they leave their young people with no moorings, no anchors in the unpredictable sea of life.

And that is the second thing that disturbed me in Juno: the lack of any foundation, any ethic, to which Juno could cling in the situation in which she finds herself. I don't think that movies need to be overtly religious to be good, or to express spiritual truths. But Juno ends up choosing to carry the child almost as "accidentally" as she conceives him. She says something about making a great sacrifice in doing so, but it is a remark that is an after-thought to the decision, not a guiding principle.

What was achingly clear is that Juno is struggling to make sense of life and love, and she is doing so mostly with the help of her fellow 16 year olds. Oh yes, there are a couple of touching scenes with her father. In one he instructs her that the most important thing in a relationship is to find someone who loves you for you. Yes, that's important. But there's no talk here of the transforming power of love, let alone the source of all love.

As Catholic parents, it is Krazyglue's and my responsibility to teach our children God's plan for marriage and family life. Long before they hit their teens, they ought to know that love begets babies. And then, as they get into the teen years, they learn from us that sex is for marriage and as such, is holy. When your life revolves around Christ, there is always a framework for figuring out the nuances.

As a snapshot of life in America, Juno is spot-on. And yes, it's good to see new movie makers and script-writers recognizing that a pregnancy is a baby, even if somewhat tenuously acknowledged as when Juno quips, "Pregnancy often leads to infants." The sadness of impermanent marriages is plain to see, too. But we need to be sure that we don't let the humor and sentimentality of Juno lull us into complacency regarding the underlying problem Juno faces in life, and which isn't solved in 91 minutes.

One final note: if you read Nicolosi's review, she says "Juno is for older teens and adults. It has a few bad words and the suggestion of teen sex, but is not crass or coarse." I beg to differ! It is just as crass and coarse as many a teen conversation taking place across America. If you homeschool to keep your teens from seeing condom demos, don't take them to see Juno.